The wonder of you!

Dearest Livi,
In just 4 days you will officially be a first grader! It makes me feel old but, in a good way. I cant believe you are growing up so fast. Especially in this world. I see people around me and they are filled with such hatred for one another. I cant stand it. I wish you could grow up in a utopian world where theres no violence, no disasters, no danger. Alas Dear Olivia, I will probably never see that day. I hope you get to in your lifetime. It upsets me that in a world filled with hate, there really is no room for love and compassion. I see the mischievious twinkle in your eyes all the time. Youre always asking for trouble. I hope your not like me and take off a little more than you can chew. I dream of the day that I go to your college graduation and how proud I will be. I am always proud of your achievements no matter how small. Just remember that. From your preschool graduation to the day you graduate high school. I will always be proud of you!

All my love,
Mommy

Sweet Livi, you grew up on me

Dearest Olivia,

In just two weeks time, you will be starting first grade. Wow! You have gotten so big and so smart so fast! I can't believe you have grown into such a beautiful, smart young lady! I remember the day you were born, a picture of perfection. And you still wow me everyday! You were breathtaking then, and you are breathtaking now. When you were a baby you were quiet and always observing the world around you. You didnt speak a full sentence until you were three years old. People thought you were behind. I knew better, you just didnt have anything to say. Now you are this ornery, opinionated little imp!  YOU get smarter everyday and I have so many hopes and dreams for you. Be better than me. Further your education and be somebody. I went to college for a year then I quit. I've felt like I failed myself since then. Live your life with no regrets and make sure in the end you dont have any. Really live and have fun. Because when its over its over. I regret many things about my past and I dont want you to end up that way. Theres nothing I wouldnt do for you happiness baby girl! I'm you mom and I love you and thats what I'm supposed to do no matter what. You and your brother and sisters are the best things in my life. No matter what grandma says. Yes, I do get frustrated and I'm sorry for that. But that doesnt mean that I dont love you more than anything in this world. I want to find you a dad worthy of you, your dad doesnt deserve to be in your life. HE has chosen to be out of your life. I have never kept you from him. EVER! I feel like I'm the lucky one everyday. Its all because I get to be with you and watch you grow up. Well, my dear Livi, its getting late and I have to work in the morning. So until I can write another letter to you, see you in the morning, stinker!

All my love,
Mommy

Olivia, your'e growing up...

There are times when I think you, Olivia Sofia Claire, are smarter than me. If I could see the world through your eyes I believe it would make all the difference. You are my first child and, there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you! I remember when you were born. You were born at 11:15 at night. My only night time baby. I stayed up for hours after you were born and just watched you sleep. I thought, this is my daughter. God gave me a complete portrait of perfection, one of the greatest gifts of all. I thought you were so beautiful with your big blue eyes and little bald head! It is so hard for me to believe you are starting the first grade this year! As my father (who isnt a sentimental man but, this always makes me smile) once said about me " That was the best thing I ever did". And you my precious daughter are! Theres times when the task is so hard that I'm about to break down that I look at you and your brother and sisters and I think to myself. " No matter what I still have the smartest, most beautiful, greatest kids on earth!" It blows my mind with some of the things you say. You went from this mellow, shy little baby to this sassy, headstrong little lady. And I cant believe it. You are and have been since you were born, my rock. The one person in this world that I know loves me no matter what. I love you to the moon and back Olivia. Today you told me that you didn't want to be a hyper kid and that you want to be beautiful like your friends. Well, Im here to tell you, you are more beautiful than your friends will ever be. I promise you that. There is none more beautiful, smarter, or even more talented than you. Please remember that when people try to bring you down. My mother never told me these kind of things. She never really had time. I am glad I can at least write on this blog and tell you how much I Love You and how much you complete me. I know Im in trouble when you become a teenager lol! I can just see that head strong attitude smacking me in the face repeatedly. Trust me it already does. You make me feel old, but in a good way. Olivia, you are my best friend (and yes I know this sounds really lame) but its the truth. I hope one day that you can look back at this and smile and know how you came into my life so unexpectedly and left a lasting footprint in my heart.

Your grandparents took you to Kings Island this week for the second time this summer. Apparently you and Adam were the comedy relief lol. You got on the bumper cars and fell asleep and that has to be the funniest thing I've ever heard! Grandma got it on video so expect me to embarrass you with it when youre older lol! Youre grandma says youre a little daredevil. She said you wanted to ride the big rides with Aunt Taylor but you were dismayed to find out you were too short to ride most of them. I am really glad you had fun and that grandma and grandpa took you again. They always take you everywhere with them I hate to say this but, I think youre their favorite lol. Its just me stating the obvious. You have always held a special bond with your grandpa. The night you were born he came in to see you and you were in the incubator crying and he touched your foot and you stopped and stared at him for the longest time! He wont admit it now but he had a tear, you instantly warmed his heart and hes been stuck like glue ever since! Now grandma trys not to play favorites but I know she does. Even if she wont admit to it. Shes a good lady. Trust her and let her help me guide you.

You are the first of four greatest achievements of mine.